Concert Foul!

The other night, I went to the OAR concert at Frontier Field. I love concerts, they're usually like, the funnest nights of my life. However, for the majority of this one, I wasn't very happy. Some of it may have been due to the set list, or the tempo at which the songs were played, or because Molly wasn't with me. But it was definitely mostly due to the retarded people I had to deal with. All night, I was continuously frustrated with people. About halfway through the concert, I texted Molly; "Remind me to write a blog on concert etiquette." I was fed up with the dumb asses of Rochester, and I thought I'd compile an official list of the bullshit that nobody should have to deal with at a concert.

• Once you have found a spot from which to view the show, fucking stay there.

I find it acceptable to be moving around for the first two songs or so, after that, everyone should be settled in. The only way to get a better spot at a general admission concert is to show up earlier! About four songs into the show, a group of 5 or so hooligans(1) decided that they wanted to be closer to the stage. So, from behind me, they tapped my shoulder. I moved out of the way so they could go wherever they were going... only to find out that their intended location was right in front of me. Which, mind you, wasn't exactly a large empty space to begin with. These yuckles would cause further trouble later in the show, but we'll save that for another bullet. (2)

• Do not feel the need to instigate fights with the dumb asses around you. (3)

A little tussle is always pretty entertaining to watch. But on this occasion, the lead singer; A. was able to see it. Which means that it was either a pretty large fight, or he has a really good eye. Either way, it had to have distracted him, making the show worse for everyone else. B. Stopped singing. That's right. Marc decided to stop singing, mid-song. As the music was vamped, I believe what he said went something like this: "If anybody here wants to fight with anyone else here, they can get the fuck out. We'll wait. We'll wait." (4)

• Do not dance to the point that you are practically grinding with those around you... who you don't know!

This poor guy in front of us looked like a lonely loser. (5) He attended a concert by himself, and I actually followed his path of drifting throughout the show. Each time he shifted positions and was near someone else, you could tell that those surrounding people wanted him to get away from them. Under normal circumstances, I would feel bad for this fellow. However, I have no sympathy. Why? Because when I was that unlucky fool that was chosen by god to stand behind him, he was dancing all over me!

• Do not get so high or drunk that you will eventually pass out. (6)

At one point, a mass of people walked past us. They were all doing their best to hold up their friend who could not stand on his own. Drugs and alcohol, I'm sure, are a good time. But once someone elses good time is foiled, your good time becomes a selfish, unwanted one.

• Do not put your friends on your shoulders for more than one song during a show.

After a while, it gets a little annoying. The yuckles previously mentioned ticked off a LOT of people behind them, myself included, by doing so. First of all, A guy should not ever be on another guy's shoulders at a concert. It's gay! A guy should also not ever be on a girl's shoulders at a concert. It's more gay! Also, if you are too weak to hold somebody up, don't try it. Idiots. Not only that, but when one of these fools was trying to mount his other gay friend, he needed the guy behind him at the time to help him up! I recall hearing him say, "Spot me dude! I'm going up!" (7)

Other concert fouls include but are not limited to; singing a song very loudly and out of pitch, littering more than a normal person would, and attempting to talk, or shout, rather, on a cell phone during the show.

At least now the official rules of concert-going have been laid out for us. Now, all we need is a governing body... Any volunteers? (8)

Fortunately for all of these idiots that I was pissed at all night, I still had a decent time at the show. There were still some highlights salvaged. One of my favorite parts of any OAR concert is seeing how Marc changes up the lyrics. I like this set quite a bit, and it relates to a previous blog. (9)

It's a wide open world

I'm just trying to find it.

Maybe one day I'll figure it all out.

Until then I'll just have to try.

-About An Hour Ago

Also, That Was a Crazy Game of Poker kicked ass! Not only did I call the song during the long intro that I had never even heard before, it was also the one part of the show that caused me to completely lose my inhibitions, even if only for a few seconds.

"I Love My Hunny Bunny!!"

The other unforgettable part of the concert was the point at which the Red Wings mascot joined OAR on stage. Although my downer brother hated it and has, "lost all respect for OAR," I thought it was freaking sweet for a few reasons. First of all, what a unique way to connect with their fans from Rochester. Also, I have personally met that mascot, and I shook his hand! I have autographs and photos!

All in all, it was an eventful night that I don't regret. Even if I could have gone to the Dinosaur BBQ instead, and seen Pineapple Express. (10)

1. I'm pretty positive that all three of the boys in this group were, in fact, gay. Continue reading to find out why.

2. Dang-what a cliffhanger!

3. Instead, hold that anger in for a few days, and then write a blog about your frustrations!

4. At which point, Joe turned to me and said, "Well, I guess this show won't be getting released."

5. A fat one, at that.

6. Speaking of weed, I'd say 10 to 15 people surrounding me were smoking QUITE a bit. It was pretty entertaining. I may have gotten a second-hand-high from it... that Wendy's on the way home was certainly delicious...

7. Any normal person would have told this kid to fuck off, but ironically, it was the fat, lonely loser that we met earlier!

8. Hey, don't look at me. I did my part by writing this concert constitution

9. Refer to "What Time is It?"

10. This was Joe's stupid idea, to try to get me to allow us to sell our tickets.