This is the cover story on the newest issue of Time Magazine, and I found it very interesting. The article argues that parents often hover above their children, not giving them the space and exposure to the world that they need in order to learn things for themselves. Some of the tales of overparenting in the article are comical. For example, a school auctioning off the right to budge in the student drop off line so that their student can be dropped off as close as possible to the main entrance. Or a school holding a pre-field trip meeting for the parents to inform them of how close their students will be to a hospital at all times throughout the trip. Or a mayor of a town agreeing to cut down three trees that hover above a woman's swimming pool, because she wouldn't want a nut to fall from the tree and hit her grandson, who occasionally swims in the pool, in the head. These stories are insane!I've seen a lot of overparenting in my life, and I think that it usually results in kids harboring a resentment towards their parents. Kids don't need to learn how to play the violin at the age of three. They don't need to learn how to speak mandarin before they enter preschool. And they certainly don't need a leash that connects them to their mother, only allowing them three feet of movement. I think in the long run, these kids will become so dependant on their parents that they'll be crippled later in life when it's time for them to let go.
I think that competition is ultimately the cause of overparenting. From the time they are born, all the way through schooling and beyond, kids are measured by benchmarks. How long did it take him to walk? How long did it take him to talk? What did he get on his SAT? What college accepted him? The answers to all of these questions could be seen as bragging points for parents. For example, when a kid gets accepted to a college with a good reputation, let's say Harvard, for instance, don't you think that the parents of that children believe, and don't hesitate to tell others, that their parenting guided this kid to the top of the world?
College is one of the biggest benchmarks for kids, and therefore one of the biggest bragging points for parents. I think that some parents demand that their children go to a reputable school even if it's not really the right fit for them. In reality, however, kids create their own opportunities for themselves. I think that a kid can go to a lower school, take Brockport for example, and still get as much as they want to get out of their education. College is more about how active and motivated you are at school, not about which school you're at. Even if you go to a SUNY school rather than Ithica, you can still become an editor at the school's newspaper and you can still get the ideal education.
Back off, parents... We'll learn on our own.
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