Animals vs. Humans? Really? Ha.

Today, as I was surfing the web and listening to music, (1) I had the tv on next to me. Not really paying attention to it, I could barely hear it over the insanely loud #41 (2) that I had been playing for the last 25 minutes or so. However, my ear was drawn to one part of the Family Guy that was playing. Apparently, Brian had been walking down the street without his leash. The cops took him into the station, locked him in a cell, and set a date for his court hearing.

At his hearing, Brian pleaded that, though a dog, he had the same feelings as any human. He argued that he should not be discriminated against as a dog, and that he had the same rights as any one member of the jury hearing his case. Under normal circumstances, this wouldn't have gained my attention. I had already seen this episode, I had more important things on my mind, and it's completely ridiculous... dogs obviously can't talk in the first place.

However, today this situation was completely different. As most of you know, I've been taking an online AP Psychology course since December 1. Recently, on our discussion boards, we were to discuss with our classmates how we stand on the issue of experimenting on animals. This, I could tell before I even wrote my response, would be a controversial one. My response was as follows:

"Call me a terrible, inhumane person if you must, but I'm in favor of the testing of animals. It may be arrogant and self-centered, but I think that humans are the superior organism on earth. If testing on an inferior organism can lead to the cure to cancer or AIDS, I think that it's worth it. I believe that the infinite number of human lives that will be saved because of the breakthroughs in science are more important than those of the rats that allowed the breakthrough.

Opposing this issue will make someone seem more humane, a nicer person, and more concerned with other life forms. However, can you imagine having someone very close to you die of cancer? Can you imagine watching them deteriorate slowly, on a daily basis? I think that witnessing things like this may cause someone to not care as much about the testing on animals, which could have saved their love one."

Obviously, in the class there were one or two people who were strongly opposed to my bold position. Regardless, however, that isn't the point. The point is that the discussion eventually turned to whether or not we believe that animals have thoughts, feelings, souls... in other words, how "human" are animals?

Some, perhaps an animal lover, (3) may see this episode of Family Guy and think, "ha! I told you I was right, this show clearly illustrates my argument that animals have feelings." Those same people might be reading this and thinking, "Oh good, he finally saw the error in his thinking, and after seeing that show, he's going to change his mind, and announce it here on his blog."

Wrong.

I was encouraged after seeing this Family Guy episode.(4) In fact, I think that it only strengthens my argument. Family Guy is an animated, comical television show. The situations in these shows are very fake, unrealistic situations only written to cause laughter. For example, I've never heard a dog or a baby speak english before. I've never seen a dog locked in jail with humans, and I've never seen one standing with a suit on, defending himself in a court of law.

In other words, anyone looking deeper than the surface of this episode would realize that the writers of Family Guy weren't sitting around the round-table one day thinking, "how can we show Americans that animals have souls?" In fact, on the contrary. They, instead, were thinking, "how can we make Americans laugh?" The goal of the show is to create laughter. This idea of a dog having feelings is apparently what those writers came up with. Damn good writers, those guys, because comical is truly the only way to describe the possibility of animals being somehow level with, or superior to humans. I laugh at the thought of sacrificing the advance of the human race for a number of animals. Those writers should get a raise... they hit the nail on the head.

1. New song downloaded today... Sometime Around Midnight, by The Airborne Toxic Event.
2. DMB @ MSG January 14? Can I get an amen?
3. *Cough* Michelle Nugent *Cough*
4. I would have only been happier if I had been playing the Family Guy drinking game at the time!