The Lovely Curse: Explored

I'm not alone, just lonely all of the time.

How is it possible that while we travel through life, or high school anyway, we are surrounded by our best friends, the freshest drama, our favorite teachers, and our newest girl or boy "toy," and yet we're still never satisfied. We all still want something else and in the case of relationships, the grass is always greener on the other side.

Love, for lack of a better term, for teenagers is like a really blurry picture. Nobody knows how to adjust their focus in order to see their picture correctly. And then, after we identify our snapshot, just like with every picture ever taken, there's a fault in it. My family is crazy about pictures. Christmas with my mom's side of the family contains roughly an hour of picture taking. Over and over again, we pose so that one day we'll be able to look back and remember the year. However, it takes freaking forever because someone ruins every single shot. It's usually my stupid brother who can't keep two eyes open, ever. Regardless of my family quirks, however, something ruins every picture. And I feel like this is similar to the way we can never just get the perfect girl, the perfect relationship, or the perfect fling.

In my experiences, it seems like there's either too much love or not enough. I'm in a constant struggle between boredom and sluttiness. Somewhere in between are a few short days or maybe weeks of the good times that we have a middle-ground. This pattern makes me think of something mathematical, believe it or not. I believe it's the Sine curve that is cyclic, going up and down and crossing through the X-Axis in the middle each time. We could substitute the numeric value that the curve reaches at the crest of every "hill" on the graph with a feeling of being overwhelmed. Often times we have multiple options to ponder and pursue. In other words, we lust over multiple girls... what a dilemma. On the other hand, at times we may feel bored, lonely, depressed, and desperate. These are the times that everyone knows they've had. No options have come your way in a while, or the ones that have haven't taken off the way you had wished.

Maybe we're at the top of a hill currently, feeling like we'll never be lonely again... one of these pathways will be the right one. But that's not the way it works, unfortunately. We aren't allowed to try multiple pathways. It's like when in old movies when people were presented with three unmarked doors, and they were given the task of deciding which door to walk through. The other two doors would lead to death. Only one option can be pursued, the others are lost.

After a lot of thought, we may choose to take a risk and walk through a door, and perhaps for a while we think we made the right decision. The attitude is positive, we're loving life and hoping that the situation we've found ourselves in lasts forever. This is our middle ground, or the part of our Sine curve that passes the axis.

If you were to find yourself in either of the two extreme situations, I would wish that I would be able to give you some advice on how to play it. Unfortunately, I may be the most clueless of all. I suppose we could chalk it up to just being teenagers and making bad decisions. We could call it fate, that we have to go through these tough times sooner or later. I don't know what the hell to call it, or what the hell to do about it. It reminds me of Motion City Soundtrack lyrics... You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call love.

I think I'm gonna chalk it up by saying that love's a curse. Can't live with it, can't live without it. It'll go down in history as one of the worst emotions teenagers get. Like the Yankees, Some people love it, some people hate it. What can you do? I guess live on. Perhaps there's more to this life than love anyway... we could focus on that part a little more.